i am but a spent force

2008-03-24T09:06:00.000-07:00

Does mine count as a DF?

Why dont you guys just act your ages already? It's getting really tiring, seeing all these shirking of responsibilities and stuff. hao lei hao lei wo zhen de hao lei.

我坚持的

2008-03-16T09:05:00.000-07:00

Been thinking about some matters of late.

想了一下··I have decided to stop explaining every move I make because 大家不管做什么都有自己坚持着的东西, be it principles, motives or whatsoever. 可能是有时候得一直解释，开始倦了吧，何况说了大家也必定相信你，反而sometimes things get worse. Yea, that's all.

Jenny's blog amazes me quite subtly. So simple, so delicate, yet it remains immensely thought-provoking, or maybe it is because it is so simple and real that it becomes outstanding and kinda gets us to sit down and think about stuff, stuff that matter. I like how she called 安靜 friction's gift, I really do.

Life's been pretty good. My march holidays weren't exactly well-spent studying but I'll be pretty hardworking. Anyway, I found some stuff while I was packing my room, and they really reminded me that there are people I have let down, so ya.. There're long-overdue promises I haven't kept to, and new ones I've committed to(yea, to you! ha). And I'm pretty darn determined to keep to them this time round.

不想见的人就一直遇见，but I'm kinda done trying to deny or reject any thing they do so I guess all I'll do is make sure I do not get too bothered or get influenced. Yea, that's about it. 这是对自己的承诺，守不住也只是自己“遇害”。Ha.

大家加油！

2008-03-13T06:50:00.000-07:00

做人也要做到那么虚伪。你真差劲。

2008-01-27T01:57:00.000-08:00

it fucking pays to be nice. it fucking pays. and you had better not apologise later on. sorry is the most irresponsible word. fuck.

2008-01-20T08:10:00.000-08:00

Are you in over your head?

2008-01-14T00:15:00.001-08:00

I do not live to please people like you do, so if you do not mind, please excuse me.

2008-01-02T01:16:00.000-08:00

Thank you, the taxi driver who taught me to save and to give.

2007-12-25T06:31:00.000-08:00

找不到，到不了。

I care that you dont care actually. And I think it's sad.

The little insecurities in life that bog us down amount to massive consequences..

2007-12-17T04:20:00.000-08:00

Believing matters.

Thanks jenny!

2007-12-07T06:35:00.000-08:00

Contemplating..
I dont even feel like blogging anymore. Words are slipping away from me..

I found those two Chinese utterly disgusting though...

Muthu wishes YuJuan a fast recovery from her ligament tears and fusses her not to let her playful nature lengthen her recovery period.

OFFICIAL HIATUS! Till whenever I feel less lethargic..

That bashful look as those arms cradle around and keep him warm and protected..

2007-12-03T00:22:00.001-08:00

Feeling pretty dead at the moment. A blog post soon.

2007-11-28T11:49:00.000-08:00

Have you ever realised that more often than not, we allow the most superficial things in life to wreck the deepest of blood relations?

Have you ever not found it ridiculous when beings hanker over naked anatomies?

Have you ever asked yourself why you seek acceptance in life by others, even though you know that their opinions do not dictate your life?

Have you not seen monetary gains rule over traditional and upright morals and values?

Have you not seen how disgustingly irritable people fall in order to climb the ladder of success, and witnessed the demises of talents whose works were suckered by bastards like those above mentioned?

Have you loved yourself so much you lost yourself?

Have you grown up into those people you said you would never turn into...?

2007-11-22T02:39:00.000-08:00

My brother scored 246 for PSLE, which officially makes me the worst scorer in my family with 241, and my elder sister's score of 242.

Hahaha.

I learnt something working as a strawpoller; if you seek to avoid Singaporeans, hold a clipboard, a pen, and maybe a tag. Look something like a strawpoller/surveyor and you see Singaporeans scurrying away from you as if you are some contagious disease. Im serious. lol.

Okay Im kinda tired, so thats all for now. Ha.

2007-11-16T07:18:00.000-08:00

Yes I understand that I have not blogged in the longest of times already(2+weeks?). So, hi guys! No more lamenting about the very rare and random updates.

First and foremost, examinations are over. WA HA HA. Although I am very certain I could have done much better, with reference to many of those half-hearted late night studies are mugs, but what's done is done, there is no turning back, hence I will leave this here.

She asked, "Why is it that you knew you would regret, yet left things there?"

You answer, "What else can I do right now?"

Thank you very much. Now Im done on the examinations part.

Life has been pretty, mmhmms, stale of late. Occassional soccer gatherings. YES, speaking of soccer, played at The Cage yesterday. Pretty innovative concept. So basically you play on artificial grass(WHICH GETS VERY IRRITATING WHEN YOU DONT WEAR LONG SOCKS) in a confined area within a factory-like building, or hut as I would call it. You have two vending machines selling isotonic drinks, benches, a set of toilets, male and femme, at your disposal. Pretty novel idea. The bad part, in my opinion, would be that you would have to squeeze through a small 'slip' in the nets, and it really stinks. You have sweaty players squeezing in and out all the time, hence the obvious odour after time. I was talking about long socks..You know when you play on artificial grass, there re these black *whatevermaterialitis* things which get into your shoes easily? I FORGOT TO BRING SOCKS. So yep, after every 15-20 minutes of play I would take my shoes off to clear them of all those black thingys. lol.

Two hours later I was off to meet seeann and company. As I was made waiting for them at the entrance of Plaza Singapura, this lady clad in black came up to me, and tried to get me to buy the 'one-look-and-you-can-tell-it-costs-20cents-or-less' pen for 2 dollars, in the name of Charity and helping those prisoners who ve sinned and turned over a new leaf. I was totally understanding her but I just bought one from her anyway. *The third one I bought this year =.=* Honestly though, one out of the three times I bought this pen, was when I didnt know how to refuse the seller. And it was this instance. I was totally cool with this girl though, at least she was trying her utmost best. AND THEN THIS LADY WITH BLONDE HAIR CAME AND TRIED TO PUSH HER LUCK.

Blonde Zha Bor :"Eh buy one pen, lah. Two dollars only."
Me:"Huh I just bought one, leh."
*By then changsong, anrong and guanmeng had all run away, leaving seeann and I standing there to fend her off*
Blonde Zha Bor:"You all got five, all buy two, lah. 4 dollars each! Can, liao."
Me:"SIAO AH~ Dont want dont want."

And she gave me "BASKET! You watch out!" look. If you were someone I know on a personal basis, I would have given you one tight s... .. .. sayang. Hahaha..

That wasnt the end of it. When we exited the mall, she was there again. And she gave us the "youbetterbuythistime". Seeann went "BYEBYEBYEBYEBYEBYE" and we all walked off with quickened steps. lol.

Played pool for a couple of hours with the guy and that basically was what we did as we embraced the coming of evening.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Job briefing's over. Pretty thankful that I got to know some new friends. ^^. And more $$$$$! Heh. Have no idea what I ll spend on after receiving the pay though.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If you think I am going to stay and listen to your wallowing of your woes, I am telling you I will never do that. It is up to you to stand up AGAINST YOURSELF. Acceptance of your current 'fate' or whatever bullshit you call it, is not going to help you. If I were to agree, and pity you, I would not be helping you. If my falling out with you could bring you to face reality, I dont mind if you hate me. But if you are going to stay that way, no one can help you. Dont label them as 'being possessed', tradition, or whatever bullshit you conjured up in the past. It doesnt matter what happened in the past. YOU HAVE TO BREAK WHATEVER BELIEFS AND MISCONCEPTIONS YOU HAVE HAD IN THE PAST, and ultimately, the wretched shell you are in right now. Come on, stand up, not for me, not for the sake of not losing friends, but for your own bloody self.

THAT fellow slides along the hill
He reaches out for a companion's arm
Yet he misses
Those piercing blue eyes, tell of disbelief, that his friend had not caught him, and had let him fall to his own demise.
THAT one falls, and climbs for eternity for acceptance of his wrinkled, fallen, unsightly self.

THIS fellow slides along the hill
He ignores the arm, for he sees another path, the one less taken, sturdy rocks jutting out of the hill.
He believes that reliance inot gonna save him, he might even bring his friend down along with him instead.
He hangs on to the jagged rock with his dear life, struggles as he grapples and grasps whatever soil above the rock he could get to.
He struggles terribly, yet continues tugging, tugging at those clumps of mud. And then something grabs him. He looks up, those stretched arms of his companions.
Veins were bursting outa their arms, yet they pulled, huffed and puffed, till they got their damned fellow outa the quagmire.
THIS one SAVES himself, as his friend accepts him for the fighter he showed himself to be.

Do you want to be THAT or THIS?
It is only till when you show you have the fucking desperate urge to save yourself, that your friends will help you. God damn it, stop crying like a baby and save yourself. I love you as a friend, so get the hell out of that pit.

Edit:Sorry, so much angst got into me as I was writing this the ending mood totally contrasts with the starting ones.

2007-10-29T04:14:00.000-07:00

I assumed the 'Thinking man' posture throughout the bus ride home; I was so about to vomit with the biggest headache I ever encountered. It still lingers at this moment.

Fallen fallen fallen and fallen.

If you could screw up what was meant to be your redeeming point...

2007-10-21T04:40:00.000-07:00

CZY: "Basically.. The mole is a very complicated issue."

OWJ: "It is a monster, right?"

CZY: "No." -.-

2007-10-19T05:36:00.000-07:00

My house is somehow not conducive at all. (I refuse to call it Home, there is no Home here. It is just a bloody place for blood related people to live in. Live in, not live together.)

Okay, I ll be officially adopting the library as my second home tomorrow morning. I would be sizably beholden to the library if I get through this with pleasant results.

Now go do your damnedest.

Damn is such an interesting word.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The worms caught eating from the same apple are fighting amongst each other. The young worms were fucking innocent, but got caught up in this stupid scuffle. The elder worms have so selfishly thrown the young into the fray.

Do not fucking force your opinion on me. I look from the side and I can judge on my own. There is no way I will admit you into the list of people I respect. The past you, yes. The present you, NO. You should know that both of us are obstinate. I have no idea how I can put this across, but god damn it, wake up.

S.N.: Ive sworn to never use the phrase 'Wake up your idea' because it is such a stupid one which does nothing to show Singapore culture positively. Yes, the 'lah's, 'leh's, 'lor's, are unique of Singapore, but this is most probably due to Singaporeans conversing in Chinese and English since 'lah's and 'lor's are proper chinese characters. 'Wake up your idea' is just so wrong.

2007-10-12T23:14:00.000-07:00

How to Save a Life - The Fray

Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed

There is so much to it...

2007-10-11T01:54:00.000-07:00

Honestly, I feel so ill prepared. So very very ill prepared. And the fact that I can be inconsistent at times doesnt help. Hmmm. I'll work hard, I promise.

And I doff my hat in awe of you.

2007-10-05T12:42:00.000-07:00

I AM LOSING TOUCH.

2007-10-05T07:47:00.000-07:00

Note to self

You were horrid.
You should not have done that under any circumstances.

2007-09-25T04:50:00.000-07:00

I shall inform readers first, this is an angry post.

LAMBAST

You earn what you work for.

Utter, and I mean UTTER bullshit when it comes to a minority, from what i ve seen, could possibly be 'majority' too, of the elderly. The respect we are supposed to honour you with, what have you done to actually deserve that? From living decades longer than us?

For those of you who might think I am on some random provocative mood, let me tell you what happened to me yesterday. I was totally.. furious.

Old Ah Pek No.1.
I was seated next to this young lady on a bus which was, to some extent pretty full. But yea, there were still vacant seats around. There was one, next to the girl I was sitting next to. He squeezed himself onto the sit albeit in a rather crude manner. Not the issue. As bus trip got longer, common sense would tell you more people boarded the bus. It started to get a little crampy. Girl beside me decided to alight. Old Ah Pek decided to place his tiny weeny bag on the now vacant seat, depriving anyone any chance of placing their bums there. Considerate Act No. 1. I ll stop with Old Ah Pek No. 1 right now. There s more to his actions..

In between Old Ah Pek's inconsiderate acts, booom booom, Old Ah Ma/Rich Tai Tai came in.

Old Ah Ma/Rich Tai Tai
I decided to give my seat up for one elderly malay woman as Old Ah Pek still decided to ignore everyone's needs. As a result, I was pushed further and further into the standing commuters. Old Ah Ma/Rich Tai Tai boarded the bus. Pushed everyone one around, and I was pretty sure she was trying to truffle my feathers but constantly nudging me in the back, an action which probably meant 'excuse me i wanna get through'. PEOPLE WERE ALIGHTING, WHY THE HELL DID YOU NEED TO TRY AND SQUEEZE THROUGH? Nevermind, I beared the incessant nudges and kept quiet. This lady seated to my right need to alight the bus. She got up and spent some time before she managed to alight the bus. Just as the lady was alighting the bus, THIS Old Ah Ma/Rich Tai Tai PUSHED ME TO ONE SIDE, AND SQUEEZED THROUGH PEOPLE, BOOOOOOKED HER FUCKING SEAT BY PLACING HER TWO FLABBY ARMS ON THE SEAT. What else happened later on, anyone could guess. Before she placed her butt on it, she gave it two huge slaps to 'disperse' whatever heat there was. And next, she shouted at her maid, holding on to KFC takeaways, and told her to get a seat at the back and whatever whatever ya da ya da. Old Ah Ma/Rich Tai Tai, go get a cab for your own comfort, and spare us of your so irritating nudges and inconsiderate behaviour.

Back to Old Ah Pek No. 1,
Yes you inconsiderate bastard, I have not yet forgotten you.

My stop was reaching, and that was coincidentally his stop too. He got up, brushed past people, and pushed me. I was getting down at the same stop too, and my bodily behaviour made it very apparent. I even exaggeratted my movement to make it clearer for him. Still he pushed. And he pushed. The door opened. My foot was halfway going onto the alighting steps already. He squeezed his bloody arm right under my armpit and tried to displace me, so that he could alight. I tell you, ah. I totally BUAY TA HAN ed already okay. I stomped my foot, blocked him totally. Got down, turned and stared at him. He didnt notice it though. Fucking inconsiderate guy.

I was fuming. And even the drizzle did nothing to help my mood.

It reminded me of the times I worked as an observor, and was posted to a coffeeshop at red hill, which was hugely populated by the elderly. I could count DOZENS of old men, just sitting down and littering the floor with ciggs an hour or less. And that was within the a range of ten tables. The old ladies didnt associate themselves with ciggs ma, they disposed of tissue packs as if they were donating money to the masses.

Yiliang just showed me youtube video of an elderly auntie vigourously digging her nose for 49 whole seconds in the MRT. Regardless of the commuters entering and exitting, she went on digging. And flicked it around. Just youtube the title 'hardcore nose digging auntie' and it ll probably get you the video.

Now what have the majority of these elderly people done to gain whatever respect we ARE SUPPOSED to have for them? Such incredulous behaviour, am I not appalled and disgusted?

I say, why dont you old dudes earn it yourself.

P.S.: I am definitely not stereotyping old people here. I presented my case with real life experiences and I reiterate, this post is not directed to the awesome and good old folk around.

2007-09-19T04:36:00.000-07:00

The absurdity of sitcoms with the 'lah, leh, hor, loh's, promotion of childish behaviour, spoken 'engrish', and ridiculous plots and purposes. The naivety of drama serials, every famed actor/actress acts as a saint; they handle everything with calmness in mind, sweep frustration off with ease. Where the bloody hell is the realism of our society?

I ll stick to crunchyroll and youtube..

2007-09-18T07:35:00.000-07:00

Thanks for making my day unbearable. Im okay, Im okay, Im not angry or whatsoever.. Im just.. ...

Thanks for waking me up too.

Sugar we're going down swinging.

2007-09-12T08:34:00.000-07:00

Body is flux and frustration, a locus of pain and process. If it becomes impassible and incorruptible, how is it still body?-- Jeffrey Burton Russell, A History of Heaven

Those eyes..
I cannot forgive.

2007-09-07T03:42:00.000-07:00

THE CONSPIRACY/INVASION OF *********
Commander FYC (Main Seat): We shall attack from ... Any problem?
Guanmeng : Gimme a minute, Im checking the bearings..
Changsong (Pink): I dont want to die young...
ChenZhiYu (White): Erms, mind if I ask? Can I eat Donut Factory's donuts before we go? I haven't tasted the seaweed one...
WooSeeAnn (Black Adidas Jacket): Baa, I need something more challenging..No kick, man.
YuZhe (Red): Are you sure...?*cowers*
JingRen (blocked almost entirely by YuZhe) : WeiJun! Am I even captured in the picture??
WeiJun: Yea, lah. Your hand's in. By the way, guanmeng, can I have more expression on your face?

Waiter : Basket, do these guys even want to order food? Manager! We have a problem..

2007-09-02T07:53:00.000-07:00

Lachrymose behaviour I cannot deny.
Pellucid for all to see..

Okay dudes.. I havent blogged for a thousand years already. Alrightey, updates.

TODAY
Took some time out today to celebrate yuzhe's belated birthday with the clique today. The group of us were playing arcade and fooling around before we actually took to the movies. HAIRSPRAY was what we watched. Had mixed feelings about it. I wasnt feeling too comfortable with watching an obnoxiously 'plump', short, stout girl singing musical and shaking her booty all around. Even found it to be kinda revolting at times, especially when there s the vigorous movement of her arms and stuffs, you know, the ounces of flab shaking and wobbling around. Trust me, it isnt a very pleasant sight to be viewing in the midst of enjoying popcorn and Nachos. Anyway, I thought the girl provided pretty much comic relief for this comedy musical with a much deeper movie on discrimination and racism against people being obese or having different skin tones, or colouration. While it's of our own choice to actually enjoy the superficial comedy being shown or take some time out to ponder on the grave issues the movie was brilliantly bringing to our attention, I felt glad I chose the latter. There were short intervals throughtout the movie when I almost just stoned at the screen and thought of the racial discriminations ongoing right now. Yep. Anyway, HAIRSPRAY is a superb comedy musical everyone should catch. Yes, Im against racism.

A restaurant meal, and everyone was en route home. Candidly, I m feeling pretty braindead right now so please do not mind any lines that do not make sense.

On Facebook
You know, I was meddling with this Facebook application the other day, it's called 'Famous Quotes', and I found one which I thought was very interesting yet applicable to our lifestyles of present. It goes like this, "If you're going through hell, keep going." Yep, so guys, if you all ever feel down, despondent or whatsoever, try telling yourself this, and maybe, you'll find that you have the ability to strive on. Another meaningful quote, coming from Soren Kierkegaard ( I have completely no idea which country this person belongs to, lol), goes like this, "Life can only be understand backwards, but it has to be lived forwards." Very very meaningful, I felt. Im glad I actually added this application onto my profile page; it's proving to be a pretty awesome thing to be occupied with when you're feeling bored and random, and whenever you need that bit of motivation and inspiration.

Myself
I guess I gotta stop all the procrastination and really get down to mugging. I am not going to let anymore people down. Really.

2007-08-25T07:05:00.000-07:00

谢了，老友。自信归回，人有时得做绝一些些。FINALE 有新的结局了！开始吧！

2007-08-24T06:46:00.000-07:00

Weary.

Maybe I should just succumb..

Anyways, was supposed to post this some time ago, got passed on from limxy s lj.

If you comment on this post,
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll challenge you to try something.
3. I'll pick a colour that I associate with you.
4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory about you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
8. You must post this on yours.

2007-08-10T18:06:00.000-07:00

Life is all about catching up on it when it's overtaken you.

The sadness of truths and cruelty of money, or how it brings out the worst on men instead. It's sad, when you realise there is nothing more superficial to life than money, and it is the silliest thing to get upset over, yet it has the utmost capability to tear families, break kinship, and shame dignity. Society, money, or us? Anyway, was having a horrid time thanks to 'enlightenment on some matters', but thanks Jenny for being there yea? Felt awesome after talking to you. ^^

2007-08-06T08:15:00.000-07:00

Havent touched this site for ages. Caught up with catching up on studies at the moment(pun may be intended(?)(: ).

I dont think I ll be able to post much, or even little in these upcoming weeks.

Hiatus again...

Electronegativity..Blah blah..

2007-07-23T02:58:00.000-07:00

The dethroning begins. Huge, but yes.

Trenchant aims.

2007-07-20T07:26:00.000-07:00

Steven lim is officially on my ROFLWTHCANNOTAKEITHAHAHA list. Did you see how he hit back at xiaxue? I went ... HAHAHA. Totally.. hahaha. I cant think of anything to type but HAHAHA. lol.

He totally lost it. He went "You suckS you suckS you suckS. Berog berog" hahahah. And the "I SEE WanBao everyday and IS not a lousy newspaper!" Such angst.. And maybe he should have done that video in chinese with the multiple english errors.

For once I loved Xiaxue.. Hahaha. Go read about it guys!

2007-07-14T07:06:00.000-07:00

HA HA HA. Fiercely in debate.

2007-07-13T06:14:00.000-07:00

I lost myself along with Dad 3-4 years ago.

The inner wilt; how the angel catapults inversely through the grey mists. And who has he to blame, for his current predicament. Such folly..

Have I sidetracked...?

For you to figure out. Anyway, school's been ... average(?) Still not getting down to serious mugging and stuffs yet, and it's getting a wee bit irritating. Have also been feeling horrendus physically, probably a slight fever doing damage.

I cannot forget the day we lost you
I cannot forget the times we had
I cannot forgive myself, for letting go..

We had lost you..
And you moved on..

Not in any mood at the moment. A longer post promised, coming up possibly later in the week, or early next week.

I need sleep.Ciaos.

2007-07-03T04:41:00.000-07:00

Aids patients see a glimmer of hope.. A cure for Aids may be on the way pretty soon. A huge medical advancement was made after scientists managed to seperate the elusive Aids molecules from healthy ones. AIDS PATIENTS, HANG ON!

"According to the rules of this (so-called) game, people who are tagged should write 7 weird things about themselves as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 7 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their comments and tell them to read you blog."

Haiyoh, this puen ah, this type of 有的没的things就give me. Lol.

1)Ima pig who seeks sleep every moment.
2)I show rawness in techinique in almost everything I do.
3)I mix fast but not well.
4)I am outspoken yet conservative in mind.
5)I am desperately losing weight.
6)I lost my family.
7)I seek ....

7 People I wish for to do this also : Anyone, lah. Up to you all. ^^

2007-07-02T06:56:00.000-07:00

So much mugging to do. So little time to manipulate.

我需要的是静。

2007-06-27T06:00:00.000-07:00

I have too many things to deal with at the moment, so the posting section of my blog will undergo a one-week hiatus. ^^

The tagboard will remain active though.

2007-06-27T00:45:00.000-07:00

Hello Im back.

Gosh, was utterly shocked as I read the cover page of TODAY earlier in the morning. Chris Benoit is dead. And it is reported that he killed his wife on saturday before killing his son on sunday, and lastly, committed suicide using gym equipment. Not a hardcore fan of wrestling, but having seen him on television so many times, it comes a tad shocking. Especially in the manner his family's massarce was done by him. And just barely two years after Eddie Guerrero passed away from a heart attack..

Hmmm...

Ima blog later I guess, gotta go gyming with jason already. ciaos.

Wondering whether to put R.I.P. Chris Benoit..I mean, he killed his whole family..

2007-06-22T13:10:00.000-07:00

Constant brooding over a particular matter does get tiresome. I feel as if I've totally exhausted everything that's left within me.

You are just that shallow after all, aren't you? ...

Josh Groban-Dont give up, you re loved.
Amazing song. Here's the link -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ls7ila3srzI&mode=related&search=

Lyrics
Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
When you're heart heavy
I...I will lift it for you
Don't give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you
I...I will break it for you
Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved
Don't give up
It's just the hurt that you hide
When you're lost inside
I...I will be there to find you
Don't give up
Because you are to burn bright
If darkness blinds you
I...I will shine to guide you
Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved
You are loved
Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
Don't give up
Every one is to be heard
You are loved

2007-06-19T02:27:00.000-07:00

Scripps National Spelling Bee Early Round. Fantastic stuff.

Difference between Spellcast's standard and this is such a...(cant find the word)

lol.

Cause I dont wanna be stuck in between no more

2007-06-08T03:53:00.000-07:00

Yes I know I havent blogged for a very long time. Sorry~

Hmmm, time flies. Im 17 already, yet I wish I am still 14. Then I can save my own life. My birthday was pretty eventful I guess. But I cant really remember what happened in the morning.. haha!

Oh okay. I had this english lecture early in the morning. There were two parts of it and the first part was by a indian lecturer, probably from another country; he had this really weird accent that made his speech quite splurred at times. Some dozed off, many went off during the break, and some like me started doddling.

I was kinda upset when I remembered I could've slept a lot longer and I was at that point attending a pretty "same content, same points" lecture that any other english teacher could have given. And that was when the second part came in and surprised me! I was definitely interested and raring to hear what he has got to cover, barely five minutes after he started. Cant really cover much or anything he said here, but I noted this very very true thing he said.

You dont see people going against this, "Practice makes perfect".

But he did.

"Practice makes perfect is bullshit. If you re weak at something, and you keep practising it, what good does it do you? Practice doesnt make perfect, PERFECT PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT."

Really true, I felt. Okay and after the lecture, Isaac decided to give my new phone, barely one day old, a monstrous swing and POOF, the numerics and alphabets appearing in the phone was screwed. Nothing was legible, all that appeared were weird weird spacings and random letters. So birthday wishes that went "Happy sweet 17th birthday weijun!" morphed into " y sw t 17 b rt ay n!". Yes, and it was after the phone was spoilt that I received a message from jialing. So Im so sorry dear I didnt reply your message straight after that okay? I had no idea who sent me what.

So I was off to a handphone shop. He told me it didnt look first hand. So I proceeded on to the shop my mum bought it from. My mum was putting me in a little spot then, she was on the phone and she demanded the shop exchanged a completely new phone for me. They were put in a terrible spot also, and I was having this totally apologetic face; I apologised concessantly. It took a whole two hours before the salesperson decided to do me a favour since it was my birthday also. Hence I got off with a new phone in exchange for my ex new phone. Haha. Thanks! To the salesperson who acceded to my mum's requests and brightened my day!

Went on to training before having dinner with the guys, spying around in the mall and our pool games. Was totally exhausted by the time I got home. Slept till 3pm yesterday!

Of course thanks to all the dears who wished me happy birthday! If I didnt reply or missed out anyone in replies please let me know okay~ Thanks people!

Take care!^^

2007-05-31T07:35:00.000-07:00

Gosh. Check this guy out on youtube. Alfredwa. He does covers for quite a number of songs, and there are a few which turn out to be better than the originals! Putting a link here. His only self composed song inside. ^^

http://youtube.com/watch?v=2-ylLZdT6_A

2007-05-24T06:16:00.000-07:00

Top of the World.

Done by salihin and I. Did the overall sketch and idea, and salihin "magic fingers" came in, worked magic with his pen, revived a dragon and emerged skulls on the paper. Really like how this turned out in the end, so blurry, magical, and hmmm, dont know. Ha. Apparently somehow gave us an A1/C6 grade or something at the side too. No it was not homework or anything near that, I have no idea who wrote that too. Thanks salihin~

With no reference to the above paragraph...
You have done your part, Im not so sure about me. I just need time. Yet it is not on my side.

YUI-It's happy line.

2007-05-23T07:19:00.000-07:00

你不给我家，我又何必给你成绩？

现实到很没道理，但我坚持。

2007-05-22T04:46:00.000-07:00

Random post with random pictures. Drew this in class. (It was done alongside the previous posted picture yiliang! so dont say i wasnt paying attention in class!..... although i was paying much, lah.)

Random

A rare prehistoric shark was caught in Japan and it survived barely for two hours before dying. Deep sea shark you see, pun not intended. But it has really really freaky gills and horrific teeth. Gonna post the link to the video here. So catch it on youtube eh guys!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xry342A-utI

Delightful
Was browsing through The New Paper and saw a two page article about YUI on it! Heehee, somehow it brightened my pretty miserable and sleepy day a little bit. The writer was lamenting on Yui's lack of smiles and conversation though. Boo to her. Hahah, hooray to Yui!

Upsetting
The picture says it all..

2007-05-17T08:37:00.000-07:00

Drew this in class. Knowledge and realisation, that something once so dear had been taken away, so forcefully, hurts the most.

On another note, there are barely 11 days before the Chinese papers. (say boo)

Things havent been pretty of late, and I really do wonder whether I ve given myself leeway on this matter, or there s no doubt it is affecting me helluva lot.

so random.

2007-05-16T07:02:00.001-07:00

What happens when the best that you've got begins to let you down?

And you sense the imminent emergence of the darker soul. Yet it feels so pleasurable.

2007-05-13T02:44:00.000-07:00

Actual Incident.

Hwa chong student and girl boards buss. Girl's EZ link card beeps alot of times after setting off alarm to inform the driver the card is either lost or stolen. Bus driver intervenes and askes to retain the card. Refused. Hwa Chong student punches a bus driver MANY TIMES after driver attempted to stop his girlfriend and himself from leaving the bus. He snatched the card from the driver who had the right to retain the pass.

Witnesses on the bus gave similar accounts. And one man had to use both arms to restrain the boy from walloping the bus driver.

Student's account.

HE SAID HE SNATCHED THE CARD BACK AS HE RECALLED A NEWSPAPER ARTICLE WARNING THEM AGAINST GIVING THEIR IDENTIFICATIONS WITHOUT REASONS. AND THAT THE BUS DRIVER GRABBED HIS ARM, AND HE STRUGGLED TO BREAK FREE. IN THE PROCESS HIS ARMS FLAILED AROUND AND HIT HIM ON THE FACE ACCIDENTALLY, AND IT TORE THE BREAST POCKET IN THE PROCESS.

Fuck you lah, who would fall for it? Disgusting bastard.

2007-05-11T06:00:00.000-07:00

Mr Rama
the humble tower of knowledge
who would laugh at his little trips and falls
in front of unknowing ignorant pebbles
so giving yet so unfairly treated.

This is really random, but I suddenly missed him. Haha, wanna really say thanks for being a totally brilliant teacher. Printing 40 over pages of notes, and distributing to our entire class, and yet never heralding the intention to take a single cent from any of us. And for the many times he talked about squeezing around on the train to Msia, and dropping his glasses around. There was this instance he came to school, with that particular pair of glasses, one side being totally scratched. It was pretty impossible to miss it out, and he came to class laughing about it to us. Some bastards were laughing so sarcastically it turned disgusting, for their lack of respect for their mentor and themselves. Hmmm, as I said, this is really random, so I dont have pages to go on about him.

Hmmm, the constant spikes in connection is irritating me a little. Shall go off first. Thanks mr rama, although you probably wont be reading this.

2007-05-08T03:25:00.000-07:00

Why was I wasting away? Seated amongst the rest, so lost, so uncertain. A few were scribbling away in haste to my right, one was staring dumbfoundedly straight into the paper. I wouldnt have bothered two years back. A different story now.

Scared little boy..

Take me away YUI!

2007-05-02T07:54:00.000-07:00

I am struggling in the quagmire of nothing, no one, besides myself.

Wake up.

2007-04-30T03:15:00.000-07:00

its turning almost lapidary for you already, isnt it?

http://www.frenchtoastgirl.com/weblog/blogger.shtml
a brilliant blog.

2007-04-28T09:02:00.000-07:00

Darkness engulfs the lone soul mentally
Sight's been taken, Hearing's been made impaired
And this darkness claims it has nothing to do with it.

Okay, so I shall be nice and blog.

Nothings up these few days. Especially when the mid years are just right around the corner. 3 days left. And my horrendus behaviour towards worksheets are gonna affect me pretty badly. So let's see, how much 3 days can do. Or what I can do within these 3 days. Screwed, lah. lol.

Been very, very bothered with this sickening headache. Keeps coming back just when I dont need it. Incessant incessant incessant.

Just cant really concentrate on studying at all. I have no study table in my room, my parents are shouting every few moments, interest has not been a willing companion of late. Is there anyone out there who can help me with this? Really. Boo.

salvation through unorthodox means?

2007-04-25T11:01:00.000-07:00

you were carrying yourself around in such a sad manner, i couldnt help but cry along with you.

but you never knew what was lying beneath.

2007-04-23T00:14:00.000-07:00

Perpetually disturbed.

By what?

The insane massacre at Virginia Tech, the murder of a volunteer in the philppines, the 9 year old boy who got eaten up by a few crocodiles at the same time. And the assholes who show indifference, give disgusting smirks, and produce sarcastic comments.

http://juliainthephilippines.blogspot.com/

Read this blog. And tell me whether the author of the blog deserves her death in that manner. Found in the jungles, her feet sticking out from the mud, when uncovered, a heavily bludgeoned head. Her death came on a lone hiking trip. And the say the most probable reason is robbery. A foreign volunteer, sacrificing her life and time, helping kids somewhere far from her motherland, brightening up lives of many, an educationer. And she gets killed in this manner.

This isnt the end. One filipino official actually BLAMED THE DEAD VICTIM FOR BEING CARELESS AND ALONE ON HER HIKING TRIP. Shit you to the rotated figure of 8.

She gets one quarter of the page on the papers.

Somewhere in China, curiousity killed the cat, or boy in this case. A few boys climbed over their school fence or something, into the neighbouring former public park with showcases of crocodiles, sharks, poisonous snakes and so on. A picture with a huge part of the boy in the crocodile can be seen, with blood all around the jaws. Totally frightening. And two of his friends were there to witness his being torn up by a GROUP of crocodiles as they literally shared him. Imagine you watching a friend get torn up. Okay, dont think about it.

He gets less than half of the page on the papers.

Today s papers gave Cho, the frigging mastermind of his own demise and that of 32 other innocent people, about one whole page.

And Jack Neo gets two whole pages for whining about not getting red carpet treatment at a movie appreciation event overseas.

Of course, this is not the key issue of my post. I just feel, disturbed. Lives are being taken, day after day, and they are innocent lives. Massacres, robbery, and even curiousity. How fragile.
We are, that fragile..

2007-04-17T08:12:00.000-07:00

Elate-

NATIONAL INTER SCHOOL WUSHU CHAMPIONSHIPS

CHUNG CHENG HIGH SCHOOL MAIN-
B DIVISION BOYS - 1ST (Retains Challenge Trophy)
B DIVISION GIRLS - 1ST (Retains Challenge Trophy)
C DIVISION BOYS - 1ST (Retains Challenge Trophy)
C DIVISION GIRLS - 2ND

VICTORIA JC-
A DIVISION BOYS - 1ST
A DIVISION GIRLS - 1ST(Retains Challenge Trophy)

2007-04-14T08:06:00.000-07:00

Hey.

Spent truckloads of money on taxi fares, for the past week. Been rushing from place to place, just to catch the inter sch wushu competition. Did okay, got a bronze medal. But yeah, life goes on. Guess I ll have to really mug hard for Os already. Especially on my maths.

Cheering on for CCHMS and VJC, with Catholic High and Meridian all in tough contention also. So. Hmmm, may the best men/women/teamlah! win! Heh.

Ahh I m really beat so I shall get off early. Cya!

2007-04-06T05:14:00.000-07:00

冰以裂了。纸包不住火的原理，你也应该很明白。

Hmm. I dont know whats going on with me of late, seriously.

What do you do when you have the intention of not letting your intentions known? Hmm. Will have something proper to blog of soon, hopefully.

Condolences, in relation to the dead bird I picked up yesterday.

2007-04-01T06:28:00.000-07:00

Silent muttering of woes
The graceful acceptance of fall
Are nothing but a screaming bluff
Inside it says "I can no longer control"

You do realise I dont really bother myself with it that much already yea? But, deep down I think I still cling on to it, however foolish it seems, its probably just me being tired of hiding or losing grip on it unknowingly. Guess so.

2007-03-28T05:43:00.000-07:00

To those whore wondering why I ve missed school for two days, I ve been itching to death at home. Literally.

Apparently I got bitten by some bug or insect or whatever there is out there, and its inflicted upon me some crap which gets me itching very very painfully. Spasms of pain. And constant urge to scratch myself badly with those itches. God.

So I ve got my whole right side of chest all red with those small polka dots. And the itch is killing me, literally.

How many times have I reiterated about the itching killing me already. Nevermind I shall go off now. Take care!

2007-03-22T07:52:00.000-07:00

I saw the contradiction ironic and was almost certain i was right about being wrong. I love oxymorons because Im considered analogous with them.

Why is it so hard to believe?
Are they specious? Or not? So why do we even follow them? Yes yes yes, I ll go on asking myself such questions and even if they prove me otherwise, I will try believe not.

And stop micrifying him with your rancid behaviour.

2007-03-21T07:53:00.000-07:00

pretty impressed the first day, penetrated past the other facade the second day, was put off the third day.

yes really.

And the closing ceremony was utter bullshit. You painstakingly get your parents to attend it, and then you go "I WOULD LIKE TO THANK MY TEACHERS BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH", and "READY CLASS? ONE TWO THREE, WE ARE THE BEST!". What the hell was that? That was a frigging CONFESSIONAL SESSION, and you share WHAT YOU HAVE LEARNT and your EXPERIENCE. Not some stupid star awards wannabe, "I wanna thank this and this". Freaking stupid. Totally. And they actually get smug over it.

... idiots.

2007-03-20T07:24:00.000-07:00

Serendipity?

Reach empryean? You dream on! lol

2007-03-19T07:28:00.000-07:00

How much do we lose as we grow up?

We were kids and everything laid out in front of us, in a very obvious manner. Yet we were totally stumped, and we asked questions like "Why do people go for branded stuff?". We thought that was stupid, redundant, and weird. We might have even grown up telling ourselves, "no way we ll do that! what a waste of money." I saw things pretty much this way when I was a kid. And I sincerely thought, then, that Baleno and Hang Ten should be sufficient, why are we even going to Nike's and Adidas's? BATA provides us with all the shoes we ll ever need. These brands were perfect, they were comfortable to put on, be it clothing apparel or shoes, and they were fantastically cheap at the same time.

And so, we grew up. Slowly. We turn 13, these brands are still brilliant. Yet you didnt know how much of the impression you ve always had was going to change.

13 was an age when we could easily be brought around by our noses by other people. Seriously yea.

I mean, it was in secondary school that you realise, there is more to BATA than BATA seems, there is more PRESENTATION of yourself in those clothing than you ever knew.

BATA = Buy And Throw Away

Those two clothing "labels" = Cheapo

Yes and we get affected. We dont want to appear poor, even though we knew that there s perfectly nothing wrong with all those, we start avoiding it. We go to famous sporting houses for our clothes and shoes. And we throw money all away, again and again.

Ah then, 15 years. We stop going to coffeeshops, we go to Coffeebeanandtealeaf, and starbucks. And we buy ourselves cups of coffees, with extraordinary price tags. You know you could get ten cups of coffee at least with that kinda money, but still, you exchange it for one meagre amount of drink and cup. And we all think we look more classy.

We grow even older, and who knows, Giorgor is on the way. We lose money, and thoughts, yes. Even though when we pen them down, they seem totally illogical, we still do it.

I wasnt in the right frame of mind as I did this post. Just stoning and movement of my tired fingers. So mind me not, if you find me blabbering rubbish over here.

2007-03-16T23:11:00.000-07:00

Consolation is silent sniggering within and refusal to face reality.

We get all so preoccupied with humilities we all start lying.

Do you remember I cried when I saw you? I wasn't all that glad; I felt sad for you.

This is how mean I've become.

2007-03-15T09:30:00.000-07:00

Happy birthdays to two darlings. Hehe.

First to the older one, Foo Yong Chao(18). Happy birthday!

To the next, Kua Soon Yang(17). Happy birthday!

Yea, so we celebrated their birthdays on the eve. And it was helluva fun I'd say. First we had lunch and then we proceeded on to KBox, yet one of the main leads was missing due to whatever matters he had to attend to. lol. Eight of us, in one room, quite spacious, and we were screaming our lungs out, with seeann doing the raps and stuffs. And as usual, the super-like-to-hog-on-the-mike foo yong chao was having alot of fun. Pretty great. So we were singing from 2 to 5.30 and for the first time, we managed to finish all our songs on time. Hehe. And thanks to alex's friend, desmond, who provided us with very friendly and at-your-beck-and-call service. However there were two female assistants who weren't that up to par. They came in at times to collect the tidbits bowls and drinks and were quite rude in the actions, and were unsure of alot of things. And what the hell had she got to do with us eating alot of the tidbits?

"Eat too much bad for digestion I tell you first."

...

Hahah so well. We finished at 5.30 and met up with soonyang before going to Fish And Co. for our dinner. Service was pretty bad, lacklustre attitude and slow response. But yea, the food was pretty good.

Spent the last hour at Plaza Singapure discussing a very very sinister plan. Hehehe. Shhhs.

=)) thats all for now so take care and happy birthdays you two!

2007-03-12T06:17:00.000-07:00

I see you as a mere acquaintance. And your incessant bugging is getting really irritating. Bugger off, pretty please, before I get rancescent with you. Yes pun intended.

2007-03-10T01:14:00.000-08:00

I seek rise.

Had a, totally splendid dinner yesterday at Pastamania. Tony was brilliant, he meddled with the salt container, and I was almost astounded that my garlic bread pieces were covered with much salt at the sides. Nevermind, the cheese container wasnt working well for me also; I had my fingers covered in cheese. lol. All of us laughed about it for some time before Tony said he was the culprit. And about ten minutes later, I saw the salt thing at Don s table, right beside his plate, so I surmised that he had just finished using it or something, and that it would be safe. Yes, I thought. I added some to my Creamy Chicken and found an overwhelming junk of salt engulfing my pasta. God. And the container cover took a dip in the sauces and pasta also. lololol. And we were pretty kidlike, all of us, acting like one of us was invisible at different points of time and a eerie source was the cause behind it;shrieking, laughing and idiotic actions. Hahahah. But it was pretty awesome and fun. Hahah..

Havent got much to think or bother about of recent.

Imagine a lower class emerging in truimph. Hmm.

2007-03-07T07:58:00.000-08:00

Missed school for the past few days. Nothing big, just some rotting on both my physical and mental bodies. Aiyah, I dont know what to blog of or about. Bye.

yes i fucking miss you.

2007-02-28T06:02:00.000-08:00

As I decipher characters and note them down,
In Origami paper meant for mould .
Creation and Assumption,
In my eyes, were nothing special at all.

So I was at the gym with Jason just now. The equipment was very well maintained and we've made a pact to pay it a visit at least once a week. Hopefully we will be able to drag Angie along the next trip. Hehe. Yea, spent about 1 and a 1/2 hours there and it was a pretty new experience for me; havent actually been to a public gym before. The female instructor there had a fabulous tan, and one of the male instructors had biceps the size of my bulky head. Also, a few of them were unbearably childish, sneaking on each other from behind. The sneaky one was childish enough already, the other one was worse! He pretended not to know and when the other guy was near him, he turned around to "catch him red handed". -.- Yes they are all 40plus fellas. Hohoho. lol.

Proceeded on to queensway to buy shoes and did some "BudMac". Budget Macdonaldzering. The cheap, effective way to enjoying fast food at a lower rate. We also chose to miss the first busstop, and walk on to the next one, in hope that my Sundae would be finished by the time we reached.

Pretty amazing how famous Singaporean actors are. I saw this actor on my way home; it was a 0.2 second glance and I didnt bother to lookathim/askforhissignature/requestapicturetaken/sayhi and I continued on my way home. Imagine if I were to meet Ryan Giggs in a foreign country. Hmm.

Deception
Lies were what you hid
Those false security implanted
Oh, the irony, of life being an irony itself.
And let us all get away with it.

Those times when you told me your beliefs
And how I pushed you on
Those times I pushed you on
Was how I lost you.
And let me die away with it.

Your eyes were bright, your eyes were olive.
I found you everyday, everywhere.
Now those crestfallen pupils, misty greyed.
Lost I was, in search of you.

The shapes look brilliant.
A look of huge wings;
A sign of beau idol.
Yet all it was, rotting pieces
Eaten by roaches.
That was all it was.

2007-02-26T02:29:00.000-08:00

Training hit the hell outa me. A trembling right arm, and most probably, a defunct one tomorrow. hahaha.

Sorry hor wanderer, Ima try my best to beat you.

2007-02-24T07:36:00.000-08:00

You could easily say it was a case of divided loyalty.

I used to plan a few steps ahead for myself, maybe a little too far ahead, without realising that the first one or two steps I anticipated might not have happened. And its turning countless, the number of times such planning has backfired. So more often than not, I find myself taking some things for granted, which isn't good at all.

I managed to put on a hard impregnable front on most occasions.

So many times, things happened so badly I could have cried a few gallons of tears, yet my glands held them. There was the decapitation of my mind a few weeks ago, yet my brain managed to produce something to nullify it. How many times have I ruptured my heart on my own, or rather, take into consideration how many times my hearts been pierced by close ones. My emotions are so unstable Im turning deranged.

Cower away in fear, and melt in self-pity.

I must hold my own against all these, and Im seeking the consolation from my fellow friends, not. Yes I will hold my own, myself. The blog is a spot I temporarily release myself from inner stress and pressure, but never a tactical burea where I gain tons of sympathy, which will then add on to my wallowing on my self-pity, which will eventually tear me up. A self detotation move.

Plenitude

I used to have a sense of plenitude, now I dont. Shall I go after those who took it away from me? Am I supposed to have a vengence against them? Or should I actually demand elucidation from them?

Or do i ignore and try manage it on my own?

I will stand, somehow.

The pledge to not go crestfallen, and the promise I made to myself. The more enjoyable being would be one who do not care about whats happening to him/her, and just stay nonchalant. Yet the more fulfulling, though tad unbearable one is the one, in which obstacles stumble him, and he who seeks solutions.

2007-02-20T06:52:00.000-08:00

The feather floats lightly descendingly
A mere touch of it, contact has been made
Bellowing around it suddenly
Was a raffish yet assuring warmth.
It gave a unwritten but utterly powerful message.
"I shall protect it!"

I actually have a story about this impromtu text, but havent got the time to actually pen it down. Maybe I ll get it down over the weekend, and for now its just back to fretting over matters on a day to day basis. sigh.

2007-02-16T05:04:00.000-08:00

Great. Maxthon actually crashed while I was halfway through my blog post.

Okay so I was saying, I have a bruised right jaw from soccer. And also, my right leg is half shaven, thanks to Benjamin's powerful shot, which sent me into a despairing dive, and the abraison against the court floor caught my hairs unprepared, and they had them kidnapped. Aww. Haha.

Okay, so I was watching the Tyra Banks show just now. And she was giving away all sorts of things; skincare products, expensive bags, diamond studded watches and so on. All sorts of things. She once said that she looked up to Oprah Winfrey and wanted a talk show like hers, and yea, that kinda matter. But the Tyra Banks show and the Oprah Winfrey show, they are just, two different talkshows. Yea they both give away goodies and things. But the there is a huge difference in the things they give. The Oprah Winfrey show gives things that people lack and really require; from what I ve seen, houses were given out to the homeless, toys were given to the deprived children, care was given to the needy, upgrades were given out to those who were brilliant characters in their own ways, and love was also given out to many. Simply put, its a special show. The Tyra Banks show, somehow, just puts me off. It is seemingly modelled after the former I think, and it is an utter giver, of lavish and expensive products, which are not as needed, at all. So giving a diamond studded watch away is very kind, powerful, touching and that kinda thing? And how many times did Tyra even repeat that it was diamond studded, with 16 and not just 15. She did more times than a parrot would. How would getting three different diet-experts of different styles come on the show and ARGUE which is the best way to lose weight help? And why cant she just admit that she is just, truthfully fat. -.- You look at her figure and it shows. BY A HUGE MARGIN. Why does she have to argue that SHE IS NOT. And that "kids have looked up to her, saying they do not need to be thin to be beautiful, and by saying she is fat you ruin the kids impressions." Are you trying to shut people up with that kind of lame excuse? Apparently so. But you have to remember that you are over 160 pounds. You are heavier than me, with a mere two cm over me, vertically. I bet you heard those compliments when you were still a model. You werent anoxeric or anything, you werent bones but you looked pretty good.

Throw the Ellen DeGeneres show into the fray and the Tyra Banks show would pale in comparison. Ellen DeGeneres is very humourous, candid, outspoken, has a distinct personality and is a joy to watch(the show that is). Tyra is boring, puts on really really ugly make up, with that very very obvious red in her lips. I really got put off just now; I was having my dinner at the same time. Really if you do go notice. She jumps around like a crazy girl, and speaks weirdly. God.

Can Channel five actually take out the Tyra Banks show and actually put the Oprah Winfrey show back? If there is still the ongoing of it..

Been really crazy over Yui's music of recent. She s really really brilliant! And shes 19 only. Ahhh. Hahaha.

Kay, I shall wish everyone a happy happy new year and Tyra fans please do not blame me for my candid remarks.

HAPPY NEW YEAR AND ENJOY YOURSELVES PEOPLE!

2007-02-15T01:03:00.000-08:00

For times he mimed
You took it as a show, a splendid performance
But deep down, he knew
It was complete and perfect
For it was real

First person narrator.

I was astounded when you said I hailed from Chung Cheng High Main and have myself in a school like this now. You said this, teacher. And I will never apologise for my being rude to you then, till you apologise for this personal attack.

I think upon myself as being useless at times. Really really useless.

The times you decided to boast about your results, I loved to think about how my PSLE score of 241 was not utterly brilliant, yet it s beaten yours by at least 53 marks.

I love Yellowcard for their lyrics, and so hate Singapore for giving us an ordered yet productive life. I so yearn to study overseas. I would love to live with a few buddies together when I grow up. I miss my family.

I seek an identity.

Broken this fragile thing now
And I cant, I cant pick up the pieces
And I ve thrown my words all around
But I cant give you a reason
(Yellowcard-Only One)

2007-02-14T03:14:00.000-08:00

Shattered aloud, this broken being
Discarded by, the defence of his mind
You do not pick him up
Wait as he finds it back, on his own

Truly a wake-up call.

First and foremost, a happy happy Valentine's day to everyone! This is the day couples cuddle around, bouquets are being presented to loved ones, and girls find all sorts of excuses to rip their guys off! Haha, joking!

Dictionary.com has a very fitting Word-Of-The-Day for this particular 14-Feb; beau ideal. It means "A perfect or an idealized type or model" for your information. Hmmm.

Was at queensway shopping centre with my mum earlier. Really one of those few moments we get together, and this time it was for the shopping of new year clothing. Okay actually there wasnt much to shop over there, but my picky and choosy character of mine actually lengthened our stay there. Most of the shops were selling the same things, the same designs, with slightly different prices so there weren't much to actually shop for. Ended up buying two pants and one longsleevedshirtwithtie. Doesnt sound like my type of attire eh?

Havent been sleeping enough of late. Really have to get myself energized each morning, by hook or by crook. Guess Im off to study for E.Geog test and A.Maths test, and then off to sleep!

Hmmm, havent really got much interesting topics to blog about of late. Shall gather one and blog about it soon.

Take care and happy V-day! @~ (Imaginary rose, lah, okay)

2007-02-09T06:35:00.000-08:00

I took a reluctant last laugh over you.

we may have quarelled, but it is never a joy to hear of a friend's demise.

cheer up soon.

2007-02-08T05:51:00.000-08:00

外表好像要帮你，却只是想帮他自己.笑容可掬的脸后面谁知道是个狼心狗肺。(词从宋岳庭)

我肯为我的无礼和态度道歉，可我一定坚持我的意见和刚所说的话。我就是那么的坦白。我也不会像有些人，嘴边一直向你道歉，但心里在那诅咒着你。我是不做“lip service”的。我对你的不礼，我会道歉，但我是不会把我所说出去的话给收回来的。反而，我还会坚持着。在你那些气话中，难道你没发现到你突然污辱到了学校，学生，和你自己吗？你也好多次自相矛盾着，却也没发现到。那我们该信你哪些话啊？你把我们说得一文不值的那些话？还是你把我们说得很有潜能的话呢？你说出的话，也使我发觉到你是多么肤浅的一个人。你可以在未来的课上挑我的鸡毛，我也不理会。因为，我觉得你说的话，我信不得，你教的课，我听不得，而看到你太多的虚伪了。再见了，你这用英文教华文的华文老师~~

2007-02-04T00:58:00.000-08:00

Waves crusade over his soul, dismembering any defence he put up
Now his will and mind get in contact, totally nude after the collapse
Will he ever prevail?
Under the watchful eyes of others..

Hello!

I passed amaths, barely. hahahah. =) I need to wake earlier man, okay I actually wake early. It's just that I have this uncanny knack of falling asleep even after I wake, especially when Im on my bed. Haha. I now sleep on the upper deck, and how shocked out of my own wits was I when I woke with my face right beside the ladder down. I really jumped lying down. It s those kinda feeling when you get shocked and fear falling down from somewhere. Hahaha.

Anyway, really glad the 'wet season' is finally over! Now my midnight jogs shall come back. Havent done so for quite some time already. Heh.

So, now I sleep with Mum and bro. But that's not really what I want. Of course, me sleeping with bro I dont mind it at all. All I want is, to have my parents back together. Really. Its never nice seeing your parents not talk to each other, not going out together anymore, all past caring for each other. I think Mum still cares. I really think so. Otherwise how do you explain the photo of both of them together in her wallet? Dad.. I dont know what to say. Its actually pretty selfish to inflict onto us the pain you dislike also. And eating into my area, to prove your point. Its not just you feeling awful. I feel worse.. Guess I shall not blurt out much here. But, its already more than two years of seeing such things happen. And I hear people talking about trips with their parents, picnics, pictures taken together, movies together.. Its not easy. Really.

Did you even realise how pretty you looked doing that infront of me? I gleamed. =) Really.

Now lets all get behind Singapore later on! Be it win or lose. Yea!

2007-02-01T04:15:00.000-08:00

Singapore take a 2-1 win over Thailand; fairly or not? This is what people are disputing over for now. I say, Singapore won fair and square. Simple. The referree makes the decision, he chooses whether to award the penalty. He DECIDED TO. So gei-kiang fans like NORMAN NG(spot The New Paper) can just shut the hell up. Do you even notice how ignorant you sounded or even looked(since its read, ha) by saying "The Thais did a smart thing in walking out" and going on to say they made a strong statement by walking off together. It is you who give murderers who can unaquitted the confidence in continuing the wrong doings. Face the fact brother. The Thais walked off because they did not want to lose the game so late. You say Singapore lacks in Sportsmanship and fair play, and I tell you you lack common sense and intellect. You say the stadium gave the Thai players a booing when they left the field, and it left you ashamed. ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY THEY DESERVE APPLAUSE? For spoiling a cup finals leg, for trying to overtake the referree s position, for being simply put, SORE LOSERS? You dont even know how utterly ridiculous you look. They should have added a profile picture of you since you want your opinion heard so much. (This fella actually sent three identical copies to different newspapers.) And then I shall boo you when I meet you in public. The Thais showed NO sportsmanship. And if you actually noticed, when the Thais walked on the field again, the SINGAPORE PLAYERS on pitch were CLAPPING, and ENCOURAGING THEM ON to play. You say Singapore lacks sportsmanship, IT WAS THE REF WHO GAVE THE PENALTY, not SINGAPORE.

It is unprofessionalism the Thais showed, not some act-righteous thing, like you think you re doing. And I believe you quit DOTA games because you are on the losing team. And you will actually miss court sessions if you are actually sued. Since you think such actions are SMART.

Bye loser.(This guy really got me frustrated)

2007-01-31T02:59:00.000-08:00

An Open Question on Yahoo Discussion.

Posted by James Dean(TAKE NOTE OF THIS NAME! DO NOT BE CONNED)
I've been dating two girls at the same time and have been finishing inside them...?
thinking that it was okay. Now I have two girls pregnant and can't affort(afford) the abortions. Is there a place where I can send them for free abortions?

This question actually looked pretty interesting and I was anticipating the different solutions to be provided by the rest of the Net-ers(new coined word!). And of course, like any other invitation to a question/contest/competition or whatever, you get brilliant answers, and the totally bullshitting replies too.

Brilliant Answer no.1 :
By Captain:
You need to be asking questions about child support. That was more than one dumb mistake. You have to space screw ups like that out.
(This is enlightenment! No, really.)

Brilliant(and quite mature) Answer no. 2:
By Rich A:
Don't kill the babies just because you are irresponsible. Put them up for adoption. There are many married couples who would love to have children but are unable to do so. If you really go forward with the abortions you will be haunted for the rest of your life. Let your conscience be your guide.
(Yes see how much he has your future and mental state in mind. And you should really heed them cause he's just given one of the best solutions!)

Idiotic Answer
By 8=====D:
I have a feeling your kids are gonna grow up to be criminals if they are born. To prevent that just ask your parents for some money. That will be better for all of us in the long run. Good luck
(And I have a feeling this kinda answer is never needed. Killing lives because you think they'll grow to be criminals. You freaking pessimist! Feeling lah, you think you fortune teller ah?)

Angsty Answer:
By lolita C:
do you think playing with girls is so easy like that?that you can get them pregnant and just dump them away like a magic?do you think abortion is the best way to solve your problems?dont you feel guilty ?you should be.
(Must have experienced it. Haha Joking! Seriously.)

Heh. I really love the adoption answer~. Lalala. I m off to see the doctor! Havent been coming in contact with apples enough.

2007-01-29T03:17:00.000-08:00

Hello.

Have been in a complete struggle within myself these past few days, totally. On the verge of desperation already. The amount of tests coming up also... Hmmm. I ve figured out I cannot pay attention in class; my brain doesnt do well with noise and crowds around in the midst of receiving information, and it prefers gaining information and processing texts, than receive. Figuring out isn't the end. I have to concote an absolute antidote to deal with it, and my biggest problem is being lazy. So however effective my brain can get when I study on my own and learn, it is inadequate, since people put in triplefolds and above of efforts.

Physics test coming in one and a half days time. I shall see whether I ve started making a difference, from the past me and the gonna-be-me. Yea.

And I think you're an absolute sweetie.

The fallen angel is not one who has been banished, he is one, whose eyes have been stained, of utter darkness, whose body, tattooed with writings from hell, with wings which have withered and turned black, and a mind which has been totally devoured. A berserk force to be reckoned with.

2007-01-24T04:04:00.000-08:00

Girl take care in australia! Hahahah. Kor misses you! =)

2007-01-20T20:26:00.000-08:00

I can be an entirely sweet darling to you, and yet a complete pettifogger to you. Yes I choose how I want to be to different people. Sick of trying to adapting to everyone's requests and wants/needs. Call me a bastard. I dont care anymore, I think..

Back to blog. Day was, a totally mind boggling one for me. I had to choose between choices, whether to hide like a cowardly tortoise, or actually move on ahead, prepared to face consequences. I chose the latter. And of course, got a total @^$#@^ scolding at the end of the day. Maybe yea, in your shoes I have been inconsiderate to you. But you cannot just think about it your way. There are the other factors as well, I gave "um um ah orh"s as replies because i hold you in respect and will not rebutt you for no reason.

Haiyah, dont care liao. Went to tiong bahru plaza to showcase Angie some "support" since its her first day at work. Hahah. A very very short visit since it lasted a couple of minutes only. Heh. Then rushed on to Bugis to meet the guys. Shopped, walked, stayed at the lanshop for about half an hour watching noob dota players play. Amongst all of them there was only ONE good player. Hahah. Saw the acting as Si tu Bi guy in the channel 8 drama, and of course, he was looking one helluva bastard and spoilt rich kid. Never saw him eye to eye ever since he stepped into Chung Cheng. Bloody hell, shouts at people at the soccer court for no reason and for nuts he cant play. Just a bloody poser. Badeedum I shall go study. Have alot of tests coming up.

2007-01-19T18:32:00.000-08:00

my mind's an empty blank. my mobile is off. i shall get away from everyone and everything.

2007-01-19T02:01:00.000-08:00

Addicted to Lips of an Angel by Hinder(lyrics to it-http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/hinder/lipsofanangel.html). Fantastic song. Heh. School was okay, hmmm, ben came back with a limp and his left arm in cast. Small crack. At least he's much fine. Had a few questions unanswered during english lesson today, although the teacher gave numerous answers, all of which were attempts to steer away. -.-. School was okay but uber boring! Heh, kinda getting used to the campus already, but still not going to school. The amount of times I took a taxi to school within these first few weeks is horrifyingly huge. Hahah. Must wake earlier, earlier, and earlier! Someone get me an alarm clock. Hehe.

Ah, stephiee's going off on wednesday. Why does everyone have to go? Slowly and one by one, friends are leaving. Zhiyu's gone to Canada, and now stepphie to Australia. Bahh, gonna miss you so much girl. Havent seen you in a long while and kor misses you okay! =) Let's find some day before Wednesday and go out! Really really havent seen you for some time already. =( Friends, family and some other stuffs are what I live for. Having to lose them is akin to having small bits of me being torn away forcibly. But at least they're coming back, I hope. =X

Was sitting at the bench near the playground at my void deck yesterday. The maid was throwing the light ball towards the kid, the barely complete piece of human, so little, so full of life. The kid picked it up, catapulted it in any direction she preferred. Right to the maid, down the slope; it was her decision. The maid runs to pick it up, and passes the ball back to the still intellectually-infant fella, and the routine repeats. Hmmmm, isn't the owning of maids almost the same as slavery in the past? Except for the fact that maids are paid. The maid was complete, a total adult who would definitely have her own desires, her dreams, emotions, yet her entire life is committed to slavery. So what if there are people who treat maids as their own family? We aren't gonna talk about the minority, and a very extreme minority at that. There are still people who have to impose themselves on them, people who get maids and stamp their authority. "Im the king, youre the servant. You do WHAT I SAY." "Your life is my life, but my life still belongs to me." The news' that Bill Gates gonna distribute his wealth to the entire world. I say he should just spread it to nations like the Philipines where people have no choice but to commit themselves to slavery, to survive. I will never hire a maid and take his/her life away from him/her.

Okay, thats the end of the random rants I give. Hmmm. Its not entirely done, the thing below, shall get it closer to the finish by every blog post, or should my sudden inspiration come. Haha. Yea, gonna end here. =)

2007-01-18T03:02:00.000-08:00

Hello hello. Blog's at a new address so I surmise few know about this address. Hmm. First and foremost, of course I wanna thank Angie for creating this blogskin for me. Sorta abandoned the previous blog already. 'Unorthodox means' because I think it pretty much sums up everything about me; never actually gone through things like others have done so, but undertook curvy, squeezy and much more complicated routes. Anyway, been feeling pretty awful these few days. Dont think I ll blog very often come these next few days, until I get more accustomed to the routinised schooldays first. Been feeling pretty dead and lacklustre ever since school started. Hmmm.

Horrific accident happened in school today. Ben hurt himself pretty badly and it was scary to see someone fall like that. Take good good care of your back now, before the injury gets much serious. I think I was the only one who felt that kinda anxiety at that moment, seeing someone fall in that manner. Probably because I went through it last year. And I know how the stinging pain felt like, it never comes alone; you feel something surge through your body, I cannot explain how it feels like but there is just some sort of thing that surges through your body at that moment, and the tremendous amount of sweat and crap that comes with it. Yea. So really really take care uh, Ben.

Ain't got much more to blog about. I still have much to do, much to catch up upon. So I shall end here eh. Once again thank you Angie for the blogskin! =)
(Not really intending to get a tagboard in asap. Tagboard having much problems of late.)